"No Tree Can Grow to Heaven Unless Its Roots Reach Down to Hell"
In the past, my art was very dark. I carried a lot of pain from losing my mother and being transplanted to a new country. It was a way for me to release my rage and a lot of it was inspired by Marilyn Manson lyrics.
I’ve undergone some major transformations, going from a destructive, depressed alcoholic to, what i consider, a thriving human being. And still I feel like I am in the very early stages of reaching my full potential. I spent most of my life feeling very angry and sorry for myself but I am incredibly grateful for those experiences. They have created the contrast that is necessary to experience the most blissful aspects of this existence. There’s a quote by Carl Jung that speaks to me very deeply “No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.”
Art has been the only constant in my life. But just like my persona, it has evolved a whole lot. When i first began to consciously practice the Law of Attraction, I suddenly found myself living in isolation, on top of a mountain near the San Luis Valley. This experience was as difficult as it was rewarding but something happened that changed my life forever.
This was the most pivotal point in my life and in my art and it’s rather hard to put it into words but i will try to explain. It was as simple as me sitting in awe, appreciating the incredible views of the Sangre de Cristo mountain range, which i had done many times before. But in this moment, I saw all of the trees breathing and moving in perfect harmony and i realized how intelligent and divine they are, and their existence is no random accident. And by default, I realized this about myself as well. I saw my connection to this Earth and the whole Universe and I realized that there are no accidents. We are like that of which we come from and this system is incredibly intelligent and precise. No amount of thinking or inventing can create something so unbelievably diverse, yet in perfect order. I was an atheist my whole life and in this moment, you could say, I realized “God”.
From this point forward, i could finally stop trying to become someone and just allowed myself to be who I am. I allowed life to flow through me, rather than create what I imagined life is supposed to be and this made a huge shift in my art. Before, I would constantly beat myself up by comparing myself to other artists who are much more skilled than I. I was always trying to come up with some clever, provocative images but it never lived up to my expectations.
It’s when I finally surrendered and relaxed that i began to make art that pleased me. The process of creation also became a lot more enjoyable, instead of an opportunity to judge myself. This is when I began to create, what I call “Meditative Art”. This process is an active meditation because i don’t allow my thoughts to interfere. That doesn’t mean that they don’t come up, I just don’t respond to them. I just approach my paintings intuitively and I channel whatever wants to come through me.
I realized that everything that exists is already perfect and me trying to mimic it, is never going to add value to it or satisfy me. So i just started painting this organic flow without giving it any thought. I later recognized it as the same breath i saw in the trees but it can be observed everywhere, because it is the Energy in Rhythm, the breath of life. It’s constructive and destructive and it’s in constant motion. People often recognize fern, coral, feathers, rivers and even creatures in my paintings and they’re all right.
I never really appreciated abstract art. I always thought it was just for people who were too lazy to learn the technical, foundational skills for making art. But here I was, making abstract art into the early hours of the morning and it had way more meaning than anything i had ever created.
I also noticed a sudden peak of interest from my viewers as well. They can recognize the authenticity and they feel the presence of Spirit, even if just for a moment. I’ve always wanted to make an impact with my art and I can finally realize my true purpose on this Earth. I love to observe people when they’re interacting with my work. They often tell me that it puts them in a calm, meditative state and nothing could bring me more joy. The experiences i have while painting are immortalized onto canvas and it becomes a sort of a visual medicine.
As of lately, I feel called to combine these abstract patterns with more representational images but I continue to have the same intuitive approach. Even my color palettes choose themselves.
The moral of the story is, we are all gifted in our own special way and our experiences make us even more unique. If we want to truly be successful in every aspect of our lives, we have to allow this authenticity to shine through. It’s great to have mentors but it’s important to recognize that imitating them can only get you so far. Everything we need to know is already within us and if we can quiet our minds long enough, all the answers will present themselves.
Much Love and Infinite Blessings!